Thursday, August 08, 2002

Today when I went outside to smoke on my luch break I started thinking about the time I spent in France. I work in a highrise building right in the middle of down town Austin Texas. From the parking garage it seems like you can see Austin in its entirety. When I lived in France I lived in an apartment that was also like a high rise. Looking down on Austin made me relize that all I really did was look "down" on the little town of France I lived in. I was so unfucking-belivably depressed.

Monday, August 05, 2002

I dont date dj's. I date indie rockers that dont bathe and feel real sorry for them selfs and usually dont have jobs. But no this guy has something going for himself so why the hell would he like me back? i am just gonna shut the hell up cause I am annoying my damn self
Poor poor me. I need my high doses of meds so I can settle the f-down. I am here at work crying for no fucking reason, what in the hell is wrong with me I am such a mental basket case with out my meds it is really sad.
And to top it all off I like someone. I hate it cause he is not my type and is such the little mack with the ladies and bla bla bla. So why do I like him? I dont fucking know but these past couple of days I have been thinking about him a lot. Usually I fall right for the nerdy boy who will fall right back for me. I actually think that I lower my standards so I dont have to deal with a challenge. Okay so its not the challenge I am avoiding. Of course its the rejection that in-ev-a-da-blee happen if I really like some one who has something going for them. I dont want to compete cause I dont want to loose. I just dont wanna put my little achey breaky little heart through that. So why am I kinda falling for a damn dj.........of all fucking people....................a fucking DJ, WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???